Today is the last day of the year and the end of this retrospective. From now on is about the present.

I've been reading a philological study of Nicanor Parra's work. It was written by Leonidas Morales and I inherited the book from my grandma who was a literature professor. There are a lot of things in Parra's antipoetry that I'd like to explore for design. The rebel approach, the search of truth, the desire of unmasking human imposture. I've been called cynical by my boss. He said it half laughing as if it was a joke, but it touched me in a way he has yet no idea. I'm a critical person and an avid observer who likes to question stuff. But I'm hopeful.

This got me thinking about what would "anti-design" be and mean as opposed to "design". Not just as an anthitesis to design but as an idea that breaths and stands on its own. Would it be possible for design to exist outside materialism and consumerism? Would it be possible to exist in a genuine way that is not necessarily human centric in the way we understand it? Can it be a rebel challenge to status quo instead of submitting to what the system claims to request from it?

The Chichx finished and the Wireframe was a big success. It was immersive and impressive and well done. No one would imagined it was my first time doing this or anything similar. I'm grateful for all the help. The organisation of the festival didn't seem so good at times, but people had good intentions. Several times I felt patronised. It was a nice first experience and it helped me understand how some things work.

Mini burnout. I can't sleep. Need to take off from work and finish the installation. Can't do both.

While doing the Wireframe design I explored using Midjourney to explore sterotypes, gender normativity and gender equality in the AI ecosystem. I used prompts like "CEO portrait" only to confirm the engine would show me white men over and over again. Same with other power positions like "President", "lawyer" or "boss". Never while doing this did it show me a single woman or person of color. Only by typing "slave" could I get a representation of this ethnicity. How horrible. When putting "married couple" or "couple in love" I would get only hetero results. I understand these engines feed from the internet and what is already there, but I wonder if we can find a way to consciously educate them so that they don't perpetuate systemic biases. How we feed them is political. They can serve us to fight this ways of inequality and to imagine a better world.

My work at the agency doesn't give me what I'm looking for so I need to fulfill my creative urge outside. The festival will confirm my participation (or not) in a few weeks and I'm nervous about how to make it happen while working 8h a day at the same time.

We finally got the flags and Fran Finat joined the team to make the static documentation. Woop!

The project got completely stuck. It's too cold to go outside and do the intervention, the flags has been very hard to produce for some strange reason and noone has a lot of time. The website is progressing nicely and I'm starting to get a bit anxious. I guess it's a part of it and I'm sure everything will turn out nicely at the end.

Not a lot has happened. Not long ago I recorded again the podcast for UDD "Diálogos de Diseño". The first time we recorded it was in October 2021. I was going through a hard personal time so I was extreamly negative in the podcast and I said things like "the best thing that us designer could do sometimes is to stop designing at all". Lol. I do think so tho, but maybe it's not the best thing to say in a podcast that's looking to promote the discipline. So I asked to record again and we did. I guess they weren't happy with it either cuz they completely skept it in the agenda.

But again, after a couple of days I felt weird about it. I just wanted to mention how we as designers need to be responsible and selective on the projects we get involved in. That we need to question the briefs and make sure they are contributing to a better world, that they are sustainable and inclusive and that, from my pov, are not contributing to building false expectations of happiness build on consumerism or materialism. But I always sound a bit too cynical or too critical. I def. need to work on that.

Joaquín Gaja now is motivated to participate in the project aswell. He will be doing the graphics and supporting Lucas with the video and documentation. Train is movin'

We are planning on doing a public intervention with flags, showcasing the questions of the project. Lucas will document the intervention and everything will redirect the viewer to a website I'll design where the editorial will be hosted.

I contacted Lucas Papin to create a project to leverage the SWTH editorial. I think the message is relevant and to publish the editorial in ig and let it die there would be a pitty.

Last week we closed the collab with Cooperativa Local. The NFTs haven't received any bid, it might be a matter of time. I do not doubt the quality of the work, but I do doubt the quality of my persona as a piece of work.

Contemporary art is a celebration of unique individual identities

The last few weeks have been strange. Every second week, after exploring a lot, I feel like I arrive to something solid, from where I can build a coherence piece of work. I don't realise that the piece of work is already the exploration itself.

I activated my Twitter account and I have 150 followers, mostly bots and fake accounts. The environment is weird. There's a lot of talk about the art and the communities, but the focus seems to be the money overall and a strange hope of getting suddenly super-rich.

Long time without writing. Updates are:
I published my NFTs series on Foundation. It's called "Las 4 Marías". They are animated by Alex Barnet and the soundtrack was produced by Laura.
I listed each one with a floor price of 0.4ETH. The guys/gals from Cooperativa Local were very optimistic to think that at least one would go during the promotion phase. But it's been 2 weeks and nothing has happened.

In Paris. On my way from Berlin to Chile.

In a few days I will be in Santiago, in my parents house. I don't feel like writing, or producing or analysing or waiting no more.

I'm reading K.H Journals. It has become less and less interesting from 1984-85 on, but his agenda is still impressive. From 1986, he starts using his diary as a factual journal. Intensity.

The art today is more democratic than ever. Anyone can access it anytime on social media. We can't access the originals, but we can see static or motion reproductions. Anyone can experience art. But as the context changed, the experience also changed. And threfore we can ask weather the act of experiencing art is still an artistic experience.

Music. There is not and there will never be another art that rises to the height of it feet. The visual arts are my resignation, given the lack of talent.

Career: agains who? against others? against time? The term stress my subconscious. I prefer "development". Sounds more like growth.

It's fckn cold.
The matter of the format and the medium, for me is how to interact with the in a more genuine-natural way?

My mistake: to expect great results in my first encounter with a new style or technique, as if the practice doesn't elevate with practice. To dominate a style or technique requires time of sometimes tedious exercises.

For that encounter to be close and free, without friction, I need to start with cheap mediums. When it's expensive I feel the weight of making it worthy and it sabotages the flow.

Yesterday I bought:
-200 A4 red sheets
- 100 A4 purple sheets
- 3 black markers.

Exercise: in the time span of one full song illustate without thinking
- Break the ice with the blank sheet
- Explore / exercise / exhaust
- Generate my own visual worldview

If I fully devote to the experience my body becomes a catalyst between the paper and my worldview, more than an independent agent.

Individualidad > Pretext > Humanity > Context

Explore my place in the art.
Explore the place of the art in me.

I met with the guys/gals of Cooperativa Local to discuss the publication of my first NFTs. I answer all their questions clearly but openly. The rol of "artist" feels alien.

I wanted to publish and move on to focus on my new fashion project. But they wanted to do an analysis and proposals, which is good. I need support on social media cuz it's all happening in Twitter and I don't even have Twitter and I don't want to deal with another ssmm.

Are diaries a proof of artists/people's vanity? Can it be genuine even when it's public? You, yes you! Wdyt?

Jo will do the styling of the project.

- Minimisation of diversity like a fundamental pillar.

- "Divorce means a serious offence to natural law".

- "The continuity of dogma": Axiom that holds its understanding of the whole reality.

- The concrete individual is always under and below the abstract norm.

- "Fame of holiness"

- Stairway to heaven

The collection might be called "Reverso" or "Un crisol donde se limpia el oro".
- It will refer to my childhood in my first school.

- Education ruled by strict social and gender structures.

I was almost 10 when I learnt how to embroider. It was a part of the program. Men would learn wood work.

The final task was a sampler. Cross stitch, spike stitch, filling, chain stitch and back stitch. A tidy "reverso" (eng. back) was crucial to get a good grade. Sometimes think look pretty and tidy in the front but on the back are a big mess.

What's the responsability of these educational projects on the deep chilean classism? When kids are denied access to diversity, not only of beliefs but also of genders, family composition and social classes.

(1) Art helps me heal
(2) To shake Chile with art. To question dominant practices in segments of power for a more inclusive and empathic country.

New project. I decided to explore my past to create a fashion collection that reflects on the lack of exposure to diversity in chilean aristocracy. I think art helps me purge certain aspects and it keeps me defining (me).

Fashion collection > School Uniform. Dust off my personal expericience, when I was kicked out of school. It was a major life event and I never gave it the thought and relevance it deserved.

A big part of a designer or artist practice is the ability to manage and execute creative projects. Until now my ideas clashed with each other, pushing priorities up and down and creating chaos.

When “Idea 1” is working its way to the top, a new philosophy, “idea 2” would come and push it away to neverland.

During 2021 this logic changed. As everything in Berlin, my ideas now also patiently queue. Some of them get tired of it and leave the tedious waiting. Now I let them go. All that wants to be forgotten, we need to let it vanish. The most persistent ideas, stay in a silent line, dressed with their wildest clothes waiting for me to finish the shift project. It’s hard for me now to start “idea 2” if I haven’t finished “idea 1”. The venue has a limited capacity that tends to one.

I identified this logic when I was doing The Fool. Such a big project required my full attention. For 3 months, from ideation to post production I felt the other ideas queueing at the door, and when I exported the final file, I almost physically felt how space freed up in my brain to welcome a new guest.

For months I’ve been studying the NFTs. I still don’t totally get it but I’ll continue my exploration by “mining” my first collection of five as a part of my genesis in the metaverse. Today we finished those 5 pieces. Again I feel the freedom of space and the queue moving outside.

“Not today”.

Art and individuality.
The modern museum as the celebration of the individual, the “different”, the “unique”.

2021 was a year of personal growth, of understanding my sexuality and unlearning inherited logics that are outdated in relation to my current pov. 2022 will be a year to test this renovated version of myself and keep on sharpening my own vision of design, art and the world.

I thrive to improve my creative process. I read critics and essays about the logic of collections and the semiotics of images, I try to draw with code and to participate in the discord groups. I don’t have time to do art.

The hardest part about keeping a diary is to write daily.